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Author Topic: Codename 12 - External Tibias - Dr. Xia - 2007 - Diary In Beijing  (Read 61660 times)
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12
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« Reply #20 on: March 02, 2007, 08:01:38 AM »


If you really want to freak your friends out, you keep wearing the lifts when you get back.
6 inches taller Smiley

I wear 2 inch lifts now when I work and go out and if I were to keep wearing them after gaining 3 inches, I would never be able to face anyone without hearing "Man you are alot taller".


From now on I'm am going to wear shoes that add a decent increase in height. Maybe 1.5 inches would be a nice balance of comfort/height. Not because I'll feel I need more, but just out of respect for everything I'm going through. It's hard to explain, but I appreciate my height much more now. Wearing a 1.5 inch would translate into approx. 2 months+ of lengthening here which would cost $10,000 (this is hypothetical - they don't actually have that package available).

In the future this might be a non-issue and I'll be content with wearing slippers or flat shoes. We'll see.

Hope I didn?t put anyone off by the bugs earlier, they?re actually beneficial in warm tropical habitats and have a positive impact on their environment as recyclers...

That's cool. They are all still going to be terminated while I'm here. I've got three different kinds of protection from buggies coming my way including a bait trap. Bait traps are like roach crack. Enjoy it roaches!

p.s-  I had to get off rather urgently above. Things seem pretty nicely set up there considering and I guess because of the maids and great service they understandably wouldn?t feel the need for changing anything

I can honestly say the staff here is excellent! I'm very fortunate that while being in a different country, with a different language the maids, nurses and doctors are so dedicated to your care and recovery.

- 12
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« Reply #21 on: March 02, 2007, 07:41:10 PM »

Sweet Sleep

I tried not taking Tramadol (the common evening pain pill here) tonight. I don't feel pain, but the way the frames feel on your legs at night are enough to keep your mind on them or darting around for another distraction, but not on sleep. Tramadol numbs my legs and lets the incredible amount of inner tiredness take over. Our bodies here are constantly trying to recuperate which takes a lot of energy.

I woke up at 1:38, said "forget this! sleep is too important" and popped two pills. At 1:49 I heared "Sober" down the hallway singing You Ain't Nothing But A Hounddog by Elvis. Was that a sign that I made the right move?

Oh well, it doesn't matter much now. I'm just waiting for them to kick in .  Roll Eyes (sigh)

Random Thoughts:
There is a family of thought here that says take the pills everynight. But I don't feel comfortable taking a perscription strength painkiller everynight for months. We'll see.

There are several times when I contemplate how far I'm going to go with this...2 inches?...2.5 inches?...3 inches?...I don't know. I know whatever I choose is totally doable. That's how I'm built - pretty darn tough and determined. That last sentence was a statement of reinforcement to myself. It's there to keep my mind strong when there's doubt. It's kind of like having Mickey from Rocky in my corner telling me, "this obstacle is a bum!". I've been doing it so much that I write in my diary like that now - wow. Hey it works. Many people don't understand the mind body connection. YOUR THOUGHTS TRUMP YOUR PHYSICAL CONDITION! It doesn't go in reverse, "if I feel better I'll think better" is B.S.

I keep telling myself not to decide too early if I should go for 6cm or 8cm. I still have this and next month to bang out before I must know that answer. But my mind doesn't like dealing with question marks which in psychological terms is called an "Open Loop". It keeps wanting to go around that track and figure out what's my real goal here. I put my max goal at the top by default. But that wasn't really mine it was the most I could go for given my proportions. I would like to do 6 and go home sooner. Also I'll have less possible complications and a shorter recovery time. The only thing that stops me from making that goal solid is the idea that I'll be leaving almost an inch on the table. And yes 2 inches is substantial, but isn't 3 inches like mind blowing? I have a lot of love for those who are shorter and don't have to deal with my luxury problem. For them it's the max. If your 5'3 it's not a question between 2 or 3 inches - it's 3 period.   

You know the two things I miss the most: 1) Freedom of total mobility 2) Pets. I saw a dirty little cat in the courtyard doing the typical one leg in the air licking move. I was entranced. Then I was looking up at the birds singing in the leafless trees. I longed for binoculars. I think I love animals because they remind me of a more essential part of our nature. The flow and the instinct driven aspect of life permits little time for excessive thought.

Luv,
12   
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Isabelle
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« Reply #22 on: March 03, 2007, 03:07:56 AM »

I agree on the roaches! It does help to explain why they?re fairly well tolerated there though as opposed to in many western countries.

I was going to ask how you were doing ache wise and for sleeping but you just answered that for me. I see the ear plugs can come in handy. I was wondering though do you have to sleep on your back to keep the legs real straight those first few weeks? From experience that can be pretty darn difficult in it self when one?s not used to it. If it?s the case then I would prefer to start getting some practice in again. Were you in a shared room to begin with perhaps one of the Chinese patients while under observation initially? I gather from what I was told this will be the case for me.

As far as pets I?m a number 1 cat lover and will miss mine dearly so will appreciate seeing the odd one around Smiley
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« Reply #23 on: March 03, 2007, 03:42:17 AM »

I see the ear plugs can come in handy. I was wondering though do you have to sleep on your back to keep the legs real straight those first few weeks? From experience that can be pretty darn difficult in it self when one?s not used to it. Were you in a shared room to begin with perhaps one of the Chinese patients while under observation initially? I gather from what I was told this will be the case for me.

As far as pets I?m a number 1 cat lover and will miss mine dearly so will appreciate seeing the odd one around Smiley


Hi Isabelle,
Ear plugs have been coming in handy especially for this last month they were celebrating the Chinese New Year by lighting off fireworks every single night of that month. Still to this day you hear the occasional firework.

Luckily for me sleeping flat on my back with my legs straight has not been a challenge. In fact since the frames are fairly heavy that seems the most natural way to sleep for me. If it is not for you I'd agree it might be best to start practicing.

Yes when I first came here they put me in with a Chinese/American patient that was really cool and positive. He helped me translate my wants to the staff and also gave me an initial model of strength and confidence in going through this procedure as he had the operation only 2 weeks prior and seemed to be doing great.

-12

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« Reply #24 on: March 03, 2007, 07:46:58 PM »

Hi 12!

How are you doing? It's 'the escapee' here Smiley

I am so sorry we couldn't have a 1 on 1 before I left but it was a matter of getting my butt out of there before a certain someone came to work and guilt-tripped me into staying. 

Everyone, this guy is incredible.  He's so benevolent and says things that give you such inspiration and strength.  He was my anchor.  I won't ever forget one comment you made that really touched me somewhere deep (sorry if that sounds kind of dirty Smiley )

I hope I am fortunate enough to cross paths with you in the future but for now I want to wish you the very best of luck on the journey you have embarked upon.  By the way, good luck with your interior decorating.

WEG Smiley
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« Reply #25 on: March 03, 2007, 08:26:40 PM »

Hi 12!

How are you doing? It's 'the escapee' here Smiley

I am so sorry we couldn't have a 1 on 1 before I left but it was a matter of getting my butt out of there before a certain someone came to work and guilt-tripped me into staying. 

Everyone, this guy is incredible.  He's so benevolent and says things that give you such inspiration and strength.  He was my anchor.  I won't ever forget one comment you made that really touched me somewhere deep (sorry if that sounds kind of dirty Smiley )

I hope I am fortunate enough to cross paths with you in the future but for now I want to wish you the very best of luck on the journey you have embarked upon.  By the way, good luck with your interior decorating.

WEG Smiley


Thank you sweetheart.

-12
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sober42long
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« Reply #26 on: March 04, 2007, 06:22:42 PM »

Hey 12,
It's your homie from the end of the hall who was singing backstreet boys.  I didn't know you liked it so much. I will sing n'sync for you this week.  Grin
-sober
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« Reply #27 on: March 04, 2007, 07:05:04 PM »

Going The Distance

All day today I've had this feeling that I can do 8cm. In fact I've had this feeling that it would be crazy if I didn't go all the way to the 8cm mark. MM is leaving here 8.3 cm taller which if I were to do would make me almost 5'10. I'd look 6 ft tall in my dress shoes. To me that is somewhat mind-boggling. I will go from the relatively short guy to the relatively tall guy back home.

If I were to stop early at 6cm I could imagine being back home and later regretting the persistent thought, "Are you kidding! It was only 2 more months!" 

I'm going to get all new-agey, motivational on you guys for a moment. MMT, MM, everyone before them and soon myself are proof positive that you can do ANYTHING YOU SET YOUR MIND TO. That phrase is real - it's not just a cute line people tell others for hope.

I'm a dynamic person who believes if you could dream it, you can do it, but the idea of height always seemed to be out of reach of that philosophy. I didn't know there was such thing as LL out there. So I suppressed that dream of being taller. It was the only dream in my entire life that I suppressed to avoid frustration. Now I'm here handling this goal too in one of the most top notch, world renowned hospitals for this operation!

It's hard not to be grateful at a time like this. When I found out that LL was possible I created a Photoshop comparison before and after the height increase to visualize the gain. Now I already knew what a simple 3 inches can do for your height (which is a lot) because I had special shoes that would do that for me. I had many other goals on my plate so I asked myself, "which one thing inspires me the most?". Without a doubt it was becoming taller. Now I'm here starting on my second month.

I don't know your situation, but I know if your looking around on this board it's because you'd like to be taller. I'm not here to convince any day dreamers into becoming day doers, but for those of you who are passionate and resolute to becoming taller just know you can make it happen.

I could have said to myself that now is not the right time and trust me technically it isn't. I could have said that financially I wasn't ready for it and maybe that's true also. But then I thought when will I ever have 6 months or a spare $20,000 to give away. SO BRING IT ON!

I feel like I'm Indiana Jones when he was walking across that invisible bridge (I think it was the Holy Grail one).   

Feeling sleepy. Gotta go.

Luv,
12
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« Reply #28 on: March 04, 2007, 07:07:28 PM »

Hey 12,
It's your homie from the end of the hall who was singing backstreet boys.  I didn't know you liked it so much. I will sing n'sync for you this week.  Grin
-sober

Awesome, I'll bring my ass chaps and leopard skin cowboy hat.   Wink

-12
« Last Edit: March 04, 2007, 07:11:06 PM by 12 » Logged
12
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« Reply #29 on: March 05, 2007, 06:50:56 PM »

I'm Back In The Army Again!

Warning: those who have sensitive ears (or eyes in this case) might find this post to be crass and may want to skip to the next post. I feel it's important to speak freely and honestly on the panorama of events in this place.

When I was an engineer in the Army us guys would hang around the motor hall and talk about the most raunchy, taboo subjects one could imagine. Delightfully that's also the case here in the hospital too!

Just tonight I was hanging out in Holst and Logan's room. Sober42long was there and so was MysteryMan. The topics of the night included:

  • Pleasuring oneself with the frames on, pro's vs. cons.
  • Which Disney character would you want to sleep with and which one would you want to marry. It was almost unanimous that everyone would like to bang Jasmine from Aladdin, but marry Bell from Beauty and the Beast.
  • How much money would a rich guy have to pay you for you to "get it" from behind. The groups price ranged from 1 billion to 5 thousand! I proudly was on the higher end...for my end.

I guess the point is that the people here have a refreshing sense of authenticity and non-judgment. They say that extreme circumstances bring people together. I think that may be the case here.

There is also the sense that everyday is money in the bank toward accomplishing this goal. I turn my dial 4 times a day. In the back of my mind I think of each turn as a small but significant win.

Another thing, I've realized today how true it is when they say this whole procedure is 95% mental. For example, when I stand and walk I feel sensations they are actually not "painful" per se. They are all just sensations. It's after the sensation is negatively analyzed and a story is created around it (woe's me) that it becomes a consuming issue.

When I'm in the gym working out here I have the best self-talk. Self-talk has been proven in athletes to work in dramatically improving their performance. I can tell this is the case with me here too. The whole time I'm thinking, "Strong legs, strong body. I walk effortlessly with strength. I'm a champion!...etc".

In Other News
I'm no longer sleeping in bed #12 here. I moved over to the other side of the room to get away from the vent which is the place most of the buggies in this room were coming from.

Consequently I would like to give major Kudos to the staff. I told them about my decision today to switch sides. When I got out of the room to go to the gym they switched my bed and all my things over to the other side and fumigated this room with a stronger bug killing solution. The people here are really on top of things.

Luv,
12
« Last Edit: March 05, 2007, 08:54:34 PM by 12 » Logged
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« Reply #30 on: March 05, 2007, 07:18:17 PM »

Very interesting convo I must say. I may just have to thoroughly sanitize my frames 10 times over before I put them on.  Grin

So I know MM is leaving in a couple weeks. What about Holst and Sober? How long do they have left do you know?

Also can you let me know what kind of power plugs do they have at the hospital? I know China uses 2 kinds. I need to know the right one to buy a Voltage converter for my stuff.

Thanks
Sg
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Went from 163cm (5'4) to 171cm (5'7) in Beijing!
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« Reply #31 on: March 05, 2007, 08:12:06 PM »

I'm Back In The Army Again!

Warning: those who have sensitive ears (or eyes in this case) might find this post to be crass and may want to skip to the next post. I feel it's important to speak freely and honestly on the panorama of events in this place.

Man, I miss those Tramadol induced crazy night-time discussions. When you come of the Tramadol life just isn't as much fun Smiley
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« Reply #32 on: March 05, 2007, 08:44:52 PM »

So I know MM is leaving in a couple weeks. What about Holst and Sober? How long do they have left do you know?

Also can you let me know what kind of power plugs do they have at the hospital? I know China uses 2 kinds. I need to know the right one to buy a Voltage converter for my stuff.

Sober is leaving in May and Holst in July.

I purchased my universal power strip/surge protector here the day before my operation and have had no problems with it. You'll have at least a day to shop for items before the big day. I suggest buying it here. 

Man, I miss those Tramadol induced crazy night-time discussions. When you come of the Tramadol life just isn't as much fun Smiley

Cheers to that mate. Viva La Tramadol!  Grin

-12
« Last Edit: March 05, 2007, 08:59:02 PM by 12 » Logged
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« Reply #33 on: March 05, 2007, 10:36:44 PM »

I have to agree about the tramadol, you get such a sweet high off them and end up sleeping like a baby.... (sound like a addict i know)  Grin
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« Reply #34 on: March 06, 2007, 02:49:06 AM »

Sober is leaving in May and Holst in July.

I purchased my universal power strip/surge protector here the day before my operation and have had no problems with it. You'll have at least a day to shop for items before the big day. I suggest buying it here. 

[

Thanks for the advice man. Yea I'll wait and buy it over there then.

Sg
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Went from 163cm (5'4) to 171cm (5'7) in Beijing!
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« Reply #35 on: March 07, 2007, 07:31:22 PM »

Email sent to my ex-girlfriend/homegirl "A" back home.
(Some parts edited for privacy and brevity)



I've been dubbed Superman over here. Because I have the best outlook on this all and I'm exercising very well. Today I walked a few steps without my walker and I know that's not easy for you to understand how awesome that is so just to give you an idea, to my knowledge, people usually don't walk unassisted till about a month after they've had the frames taken off. Which means, by God's grace, at the end of my lengthening I'll be able to walk out of this hospital. I get a lot of comments like, "man, I hate to walk when [12]'s walking because it makes me looks bad" and then another one will chime in and say, "I know, why do you think I'm sitting down right now".

I tried to tell them it's not just because I'm a deliciously Puerto Rican/ Italian mix, even though that combo equals the strength of bull and the passion of a .... Bonobo Monkey(?). It's because however well I look in the material world, I can guarantee you my mind is painting and mentally rehearsing a 10x's more powerful vision of how I see myself to be. And that is something that is available to everyone at anytime! Which brings me to my next point:

I'm a hardcore Mo'fugger! Doing this treatment all the while with a cordial and genuine smile on my face to the staff has made me realize my testicular fortitude. I had that basic feeling when I finished Boot Camp at the age of 17 with the "Delayed Enlistment Program" (i.e. operation get them while their young and still in hight school) But now it's confirmed a true fact - I can spank the ass of ANY OBSTACLE that comes into my life. I have a reservoir of strength that is always flowing.

Think about this, what job interview would say, "well as you know this is a very competitive position it involves may late nights, picking up the slack if others fall behind and... oh yeah, we'll also have to break four of your leg bones which will be assisted by a frame that has several steel pins going right through your flesh and bones and you'll be constantly pulling the bones apart as their trying to heal for six months. It's standard procedure for all new recruits."

WHAT IN LIFE CAN BE MORE CHALLENGING THAN THIS? The only thing I could think of is a death in the family or divorcing one you love, but can not be with for whatever reason.

They say you can tell the strength of a man when he's at his lowest point in life. Does the man crumble into self-pity? Does the man deny everything and lose that sane link connecting him to reality? Or does the man put coconut oil on the ass of his problems and lay it down on satin sheets saying, "I'm going to give you rough, hard and long loving till you're my submissive little b@tch." I won't tell you what personality type I am, but I'll just say I'm no stranger to the smell of coconut being from the tropics.

Replying to your email has inspired me to blog this conversation.

Much love shorty,
[12]



Luv,
12
« Last Edit: March 07, 2007, 10:30:56 PM by 12 » Logged
jack0life
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« Reply #36 on: March 08, 2007, 12:55:38 AM »

Heh, I was just thinking about it the other day.
"Theres no way I would be able to go 6 months without masterbating".
Bu then again, when your mind is occupied by the constant pain and trying to get taller, masterbation might not even be on your mind......LOL I doubt that.
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Every cm was TORTURE.
Went from 158cm to 166cm in Beijing !!
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« Reply #37 on: March 08, 2007, 10:57:12 AM »


As far as pets I?m a number 1 cat lover and will miss mine dearly so will appreciate seeing the odd one around Smiley


cats are evil.  Angry
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« Reply #38 on: March 08, 2007, 03:54:53 PM »

Today Was A Great Day!

First of all I had a good night's sleep. I woke up to two beautiful nurses asking to change my bed sheets. I got onto the office chair so they could. Then I went right back to sleep for a few winks.

Inside info: Us foreigners here stay awake late sometimes till 4 am! There are a couple reasons we keep that sleep schedule:

  • The day goes by so, so (worth repeating) much faster if you stay awake late and wake up at noon. When I first came here I was up bright and early in the morning. Doing that made it seem like one day would last for a week. Now that I stay up late and wake up late days fly by.
  • At around 10:00pm we all pop Tramadol which makes practically anything after that seem cool

Ok, back to my great day. Later in the day I asked the maid if I have received any mail she told me she'd go check. Then a handy man came into the room to replace the bulb that was the main light for my room. No joke, as soon as the handyman twisted the bulb into place and the light came on in walks a nurse with my package in hand. Maybe I'm "reaching" (I know I am) but that was a little cool sign for me.

So I opened the package and the first thing that I saw taped onto the inside folds were post-it notes saying cute little messages like, "hugs and kisses, happy belated Chinese New Year". In fact almost every product on my list I asked her to send me had a little message. Everything was perfectly packed with care and to top it off she included a card that simply read,

Have a lovely and amazing day! Hope this box finds you in good spirits, please let me know if I can be of further assistance!

I was overflowing with so much gratitude for her being perfectly who she is that I cried a few tears (good ones). So I'm breaking a rule of my personal privacy to say,

THANK YOU ALAYNA! You are a sweetheart and you made my day!

Being here has made me appreciate little things much more. When I was back at home I was never cynical or had an entitled attitude to the luxuries of the states, but I did "come to expect" many things which now I appreciate much more. It's amazing to me the freedom of choice in America. One could wake up and eat practically any type of food from anywhere in the world, choose from the many forms of entertainment that are available...Ok, I know you get it. I love my country.

Luv,
12
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« Reply #39 on: March 08, 2007, 04:14:08 PM »

Heh, I was just thinking about it the other day.
"Theres no way I would be able to go 6 months without masterbating".
Bu then again, when your mind is occupied by the constant pain and trying to get taller, masterbation might not even be on your mind......LOL I doubt that.

Jack, I'm not going to "beat around the bush" here. Just to close the curiosity behind this subject I'll let you know yes it's very well possible to pleasure yourself here. I myself am no stranger to the proof of that fact.

Sorry ladies, but that's a very real question on the minds of men and since this board is here to give you a 360 degree view of the LL experience I took the initiative to answer it.

-12
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